Decisions

And it's time to wind this season down to a close, with the season one finale! Is it any coincidence that "finale" sounds like "finally"? Sorry, that was pretty lame.

Joey climbs in Dawson's window as usual, and he acts all awkward about how he didn't think she was going to come so he didn't get any movies. He suggests they watch TV, and she grouses that she's tired of TV. It's too predictable, she says. He flips it on anyway, and excitedly announces that there's a really good cliffhanger on. "Cliffhanger? Come on, Dawson, you of all people should know that a cliffhanger is merely a manipulative TV standard designed to improve ratings," Joey says. Remember 1998, when this kind of meta was actually kind of clever? "The producers put the characters in some contrived situation hoping that the audience will think something's going to change, but you know what? It never does. It's back to the same way it was before your so-called cliffhanger. It's boring, Dawson." He posits that something might change in this one. Get it? Because, like, this is the finale? Okay, it was kind of clever when we were 12, anyway.

Credits! Since I'm rewatching the DVD sets, this is the last time I'll get to hear/have to endure Paula Cole's "I Don't Want To Wait" as the theme song, since Jann Arden's "Run Like Mad" replaced it in all subsequent releases. Fun fact: "Run Like Mad" was the theme song for the show when it originally aired in Canada. The more you know... Anyway, I'm going to need to savor this moment, or something.

We open at Grams', where she's telling comatose Gramps all about the church gossip. I forgot there's all that depressing stuff in this episode. Jen comes in to ask how he's doing, and just as she's leaving, he stirs, opening his eyes and saying, "Goodbye... Jen..." Only not like, "Goodbye, Jen, I'm going into the light," but rather "Goodbye, Jen, have a good day at school, and by the way you might want to bring a sweater because the weatherman said there might be a bit of a chill."

At school, Jen's on a high from Gramps' health resurgence, and asks Dawson to celebrate with her. He says he can't because of his plans with Joey, who walks up at that moment. She looks dazed, and informs them that she's been nominated to go spend a semester in France. "Dawson, isn't that amazing?" says Jen, meanwhile thinking "Mwahaha I get him all to myself!" Dawson looks crestfallen at the thought of Joey leaving. "I definitely think she should go, don't you?" Jen cajoles. Heh. I like to think this behavior is a preview of the Evil!Jen who's to come in season two.

At the Icehouse, Joey discusses the situation with Bessie. Bessie says she's proud, and that their dad will be proud when Joey tells him about it. Apparently they agreed to alternate visiting him on his birthday the whole time he's in prison, and Joey's number is up the next day. "You know what, Joey? He's still our father," Bessie snaps when Joey complains about having to go.

Pacey's riding his bike along Capeside's idyllic streets, when he gets pulled over by Deputy Doug. As it turns out, Pacey's not passing an awful lot of classes, and Papa Witter is pissed. Doug taunts him about being a failure for a bit. Aren't there crimes for you to solve, Deputy Doug? Lay off poor Pacey.

It's time for a field trip to prison! Dawson's agreed to accompany Joey, and they wait for their bus. She tells him the last time she saw her dad was two years ago, "About the same time I discovered he was trafficking marijuana while cheating on my dying mother with a bleached-blonde cocktail waitress." Dawson asks if she's decided what to do about France, and she asks what he'd do if she left. After joking that he'd probably kill himself (preferable), he says, "If Paris made you happy, then I'd be happy for you." Watch out, Joey, because that's the only selfless thing he'll likely ever say to you.

At Attica, Joey and Dawson find out they missed visiting hours. Isn't that the sort of thing you look up before taking a 4-hour bus ride to jail? In any case, they decide the best solution is to get a motel room and shack up 'til morning. Dawson makes some noise about this being the first time they've slept together in a bed other than their own. She seems fine with the idea, but he's super uncomfortable. Probably scared he'll whimper her name in his sleep now that he thinks she's hot and all that. As they're lying in bed, he pouts and tells her he'll miss her a lot if she goes to France. "I want to figure out where we are. What's going on between us," he says. She asks how, and he babbles for awhile about how he can't analyze himself. She's all "whatever" and turns over, while he lies awake and broods, presumably only to cry himself to sleep hours later.

At Capeside General Hospital, Grams tells Jen all about how prayer's what brought Gramps back to them. They argue about religion for entirely too long, and that's that.

Back to Attica. Joey insists Dawson stay while she visits with her dad. He comes out in his jumpsuit and sits across a bare table from the pair. "Joey, you're beautiful," he marvels. "No, I'm not," she grits out through her teeth. Homegirl is not enjoying this visit. She answers his questions bitterly and says she doesn't want to talk about anything. Papa Potter says he misses his family, and she spitefully tells him she's going to Europe and that their family is over before storming off. Mr. Potter begs Dawson to stay and tell him about his daughter, even as Joey goes to wander the prison yard alone. "She's smart, she's beautiful, she's funny..." he begins. Blah blah blah, Joey's awesome, blah blah blah, he needs her, blah blah blah. "She's my best friend, you know. She's more than that. Sh-- she's everything," he says, eyes glassy and unfocused. It's the epiphany we've been waiting for, I suppose.

Back in Capeside, Joey accuses Dawson of brooding as they walk along the dock. He tells her she shouldn't have left. She rants about how she can't forgive her dad, and Dawson says she should tell him that, if nothing else, because he's her father. Blah blah blah, daddy issues. Joey says she's decided to go to Paris. "Running away is not the answer, Joey," he mumbles. "Give me one non-analytical, off the top of your head reason why I should stay!" she demands, and of course, for dramatic tension, he can't and/or doesn't, so she rows off, leaving him to look constipated in her wake. You're a moron, Dawson.

Back at the hospital, we find out Gramps had another stroke. Grams tells Jen it's God's plan, and that they should pray. "How can you have so much faith in prayer? Just because you pray doesn't mean it can change God," Jen says through tears. "Prayer doesn't change God. Prayer changes me," corrects Grams. Which still won't bring Gramps back to life, but I digress.

The Icehouse! Joey's working alone and Pacey shows up, hands in pockets, sad sack look on his face. "When was it that I got designated the town loser?" he asks her. She tries to reassure him that his family doesn't hate him, but mainly changes the subject to her own disaster of a family. He tells her a story about how his dad yelled at him once after losing a baseball game, and then told Doug, "At least I have you." Joey's advice is to talk to his dad, and he points out that she ought to take her own advice. So she decides to. Since the buses aren't running, she asks Pacey to drive her to the prison.

In Gramps' hospital room, Jen talks to him tearfully. Come back, I want you to get better, I miss you, etc. Does it make me a bad person that I think this plotline is boring?

At Attica, visiting hours are obviously long over-- it's like midnight. Pacey slips the guard a bribe, however, and he lets Joey in. $20 is all it takes to see a prisoner in the middle of the night? Good to know. Would a $50 let me bring in a cake with a file baked inside?

Jen crawls into Dawson's window, emotional, and tells him she misses him. "I blew it. But I'm going to stop blowing it." Well stopping is probably not the best way to win him back, Jen, if you know what I mean. Sorry. So, she asks if she can sleep there with him like Joey does. I get it, she's all sad about Gramps and all, but come on. Anyway, Sarah McLachlan starts to play on the soundtrack just in case we forgot we were watching a late-'90s WB drama, and Jen starts to cry. Dawson looks mega-uncomfortable.

Joey talks to Papa Potter through a chain link fence. She tells him that he messed up in a lot of ways, and that he doesn't know her. There's a lot of tears in this episode. "I'm going to be okay. No help from you," she tells him, before asking if he loves her. Now it's his turn to start to cry, as he tells her "Nah, not really." Just kidding. Of course he loves her. He says he thinks about her all day long, and misses her, and loves her. "And I'm not the only one. Dawson Leery, he loves you, Joey. He's never told you?" She says no. "He looks at you the same way your mother used to look at me," he says, then tells her to tell Dawson she loves him. More McLachlan plays, and Joey and her dad link hands through the fence. Okay, so I think that this scene was probably pretty emotionally powerful, if a little overwrought, but with all these years past and the entire run of the show behind me, it's hard to take anything seriously about this show. Alas.

Now we're treated to some Edwin McCain, as Joey rows her boat and runs toward Chez Leery. Jen wakes up sprawled on Dawson, and goes in for a kiss. Morning breath, Lindley! Of course, that's the moment Joey appears in the window. She's out like a light, and Dawson freaks out. "Are you in love with her, Dawson?" Jen asks accusatorily. No offense, Jen, but if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.

Joey's rowing her boat home, and Dawson's running all over town looking for her. Then she's walking on the dock, then sitting on a bench, Keanu-style. Dawson's not having much luck, and meanwhile, Jen gets a phone call telling her Gramps has died. While Dawson frantically calls Joey's name in the town square, Jen joins Grams in an empty church. She's wearing a ridiculous high-necked floral ankle-length dress, but I'll forgive it since her grandfather just died. Grams breaks down crying after asking God to keep her husband safe for her, and dude, this episode is just depressing. How am I expected to snark about this?

Dawson finds Joey in the most obvious of places-- his bedroom closet. He tries to explain, and she says there's no need, because they're just friends. "Joey, you know that's not true," he says. They argue back and forth about whether they're growing up or staying the same, changing or not. She says she came to tell him it's time to move on. He asks if she's going to France. Okay, let me just go ahead and register my opinion that NO SHIT she should be going to France. It's just a semester. JFC, Joey, don't be an idiot. Anyway, back to the vocabulary twins. She asks why she should stay, and once again he can't answer. She says she just wants to be honest with him, and he says he does too, and then they talk about honesty for way too long. This whole conversation could have been condensed into like three sentences. "Honesty is a big word, and it changes things, and complicates things," she says, then does that weird thing Katie Holmes does where her eyes flick back and forth really fast like an alien. He can't answer, again, so she starts to leave. At the last minute, he grabs her and kisses her, and she's totally into it. And then we pan out on a shot of the Leery house illuminated, their silhouetted embrace visible in his bedroom window.

BAM. Season one, over. In retrospect, I think Dawson is kind of an indecisive moron here. He basically couldn't make up his mind for the last two episodes (before which, he had no real interest in Joey, anyway), and then only goes for her because she says she's going to leave. The characterization of Dawson much later as only wanting her because he can't have her isn't just true of season 3 Dawson (and season 5 Dawson, and season 6 Dawson, for that matter), but is true for the entire series. He's such a lameass.

Anyway. Catch ya in season two! If I can handle it.

Beauty Contest

Dawson and Joey are watching a documentary of bugs doin' it in his bedroom. For "school." I think maybe Dawson is just into some weird porn. Anyway, Joey is complaining about how, while bugs choose their mates by instinct, humans are conditioned to like whoever the media tells them is a hottie this month. He says that she can't deny that pure animal instinct has something to do with who she is attracted to, and since I know that she's supposedly attracted to Dawson, I threw up a little in my mouth.

Credits. A nice break from this nonsense.

At the Icehouse, the gang expositions the fact that the "Windjammer Days" are coming up, part of which is a beauty pageant that Dawson's mom is helping judge. Joey thinks it's an archaic, sexist ritual; Pacey hopes there's a swimsuit portion. Jen's all like, "I am sooo pretty; I used to win pageants in my sleep!" Dawson thinks she should enter, and she embraces her false modesty and says no, before leaving.

Jen and Joey convene by the bar, where Joey whines that she's poor and won't ever get out of Capeside. Jen ignores her problems and tells her they should be BFFs now that Dawson's not coming in between them. Joey reluctantly agrees. You'll come to regret this, Potter, I just know it!

At school, Pacey rifles through his locker frustratedly, then leaves it wide open as he and Dawson walk away. I hope all your valuables get stolen, Pacey. Apparently Pacey is pissy because his dad yelled at him for being a failure before school. Dawson offers to let him stay over; Pacey says he wants to become an emancipated minor. Yikes. Well, at least they go back over to the bank of lockers so Pacey can close his. If he has to get his own place, he can't afford for those undetermined valuables to go missing. Anyway, the idea is planted in Pacey's head that the Miss Windjammer winner gets prize money. Hey...

In the cafeteria, Jen hits on Joey. Awk-ward. "I know I'm not pretty," says Joey disingenuously. The girls argue-- you're prettier! No, YOU'RE prettier! Jen suggests that Joey enter the Miss Windjammer pageant. She offers to coach her. Joey balks at the idea, but Jen is persistent. She reminds Joey that the winner gets $5000. "I'd say that's a pretty respectable college nest egg, don't you think?" she says. Joey glares, but the wheels are turning.

Later at the Yacht Club, which I think is a different Yacht Club than the one Joey works at later in the series, which means this tiny town has two Yacht Clubs? Anyway, at the Yacht Club, Jen and Joey go to sign up for the pageant. Where they discover that Pacey is trying to sign up! Heh. Pacey invokes constituational law-- you know, the amendment about how dudes should be allowed to enter beauty contests. Ratified in 1998. That one.

They leave him to it, and Dawson joins them as they go to fill out their own application. Dawson cluelessly assumes that Jen is the one who's entering, and laughs maniacally when he finds out it's Joey. Well, maybe not maniacally. But it's still pretty douchey. "I see. You think I'm such a barking car-chaser that a D-student with a Julius Caesar haircut has a better shot than me? Thanks a lot." Exactly, Joey. That's exactly what he thinks. He says it's just "not you." She fills him in on her plan-- to win and use the money to GTFO of Capeside, and he laughs a little more before saying, "Joey, you're my best friend. I'd never laugh at you!" Lies, Leery.

Apparently Pacey strong-armed the ladies lunching in charge of the pageant to let him in, because he sits among the perm-haired and prissy girls. A "Hannah Von Wenning of the Bar Harbor Von Wennings" sits down behind him, and they trade barbs. She looks old. Is this pageant just for high schoolers? A woman in an ill-fitting blazer comes on stage with a clipboard in hand to lead pageant orientation or something, and Miss Hannah Von Wenning calls Pacey a buffoon, which is an insult I really haven't heard in awhile and think perhaps should be brought back.

Over at Grams', Jen's making Joey walk with a book on her head, probably just to laugh at her. Joey glowers and asks Jen why she's helping her. Jen says she never had girlfriends in New York, and thinks it looks like fun. Jen spends an awful lot of this season begging Joey to be her friend.

Pacey thinks he's going to sing for his talent, and serenades Mitch and Dawson with Sinatra. Not gonna happen. "Pacey, if you want to win this thing, you've gotta take it seriously. If you win, the Associated Press would be all over this. Not to mention CNN, I mean, it's going to be international news!" says Dawson. I doubt it. Also, you know Dawson's just brainstorming away about how he can film something to get on the aforementioned news channel. Way to think about yourself, Doucheson.

"So. What's going on with you two?" Joey asks Jen, looking out the window at his house. Subtle, Jo. Jen says they're figuring out how to be friends, and asks what's going on between Joey and Dawson. "Dawson will always see me as the gawky little girl down the creek with bandaids on her knees and one braid falling out," says Joey. Pout.

Back at Casa Leery, Dawson tells Pacey he thinks Joey's been avoiding him. "I miss her when she's not around," he whines. Pacey, aka the voice of the audience, says he's relieved that Dawson's finally coming around. Dawson says nah, he thinks of Joey as, like, a sister. "So what you're saying is you don't want her, but you don't want anybody else to have her either?" Dawson looks pensive. Or maybe constipated. I can't tell. Either way, yeah, that's totally what he's saying.

The following day at the Yacht Club. There are girls in tutus, girls tap-dancing, girls doing the splits upside down, and girls answering questions about themselves as Dawson films them. They're totally doing that thing that TV shows do where they set up all but one or two contestants as being just completely awful, so that there's no question why our heroine (or-- spoiler alert-- in this case, a frizzy-haired girl named Roberta Crump who answers all the questions really selflessly and sweetly) will win.

Meanwhile, Hannah Von Wenning is wearing another pantsuit. She and Pacey banter some more-- apparently he asked her out in 6th grade and she stood him up. Then she rubs it in that he probably doesn't have a chance of winning.

Time for Joey's interview! She's her usual bright and shining self, all narrowed eyes and sighing. When Dawson asks where she sees herself in five years, she says maybe Tunisia, Africa, Antarctica. "When you talked about getting out of Capeside, I thought you meant like, Boston University," Dawson says. "The polar icecap is pretty far away." She tells him that's the point. He asks if there are things she'll miss... family? Friends? Basically he's saying, "Joey, you can't leave! You'll miss me too much!" She tells him that everything has to change eventually, and he gets that constipated look on his face again.

Tonight's the night! Backstage at Miss Windjammer, Jen gives Joey some final pointers-- Vaseline on the teeth, etc. Pacey's stuck using the janitor's closet as a dressing room, and Dawson helps him suit up. The eveningwear competition is up first! Some of these dresses are totally fug. That many sequins should be illegal. Joey, of course, wears a subtler black gown, since they want her all set up to win. Pacey and Jen watch her from backstage, and Pacey points out that Dawson's giving Joey moon eyes from behind his camera. "Is it the possibility of losing him to somebody else that makes him so attractive?" Pacey asks. Did I miss something? I haven't seen any evidence that Jen feels anything other than blind relief to be out of Dawson's clutches. Maybe it's the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in, then.

Pacey should probably win, because he looks damn fine in that tux. Just saying.

Talent time! Cue montage of girls doing weird random shit-- twirling a baton, delivering an overwrought monologue, tap-dancing in a hideous short-sleeved red blazer. Interspersed are shots of girls answering interview questions in the most embarrassing ways possible ("If I could talk to the governer for one hour," begins one overly hairsprayed contestant in one of the most offensive get-ups, "I'd... tell him how he could lose 30 lbs. in 30 days!"). Dark horse contestant Roberta Crump plays some classy piano, and Pacey provides a little comic relief. He sneaks down to chat with Mrs. Leery, who's a judge, and she tells him that he's hilarious, although he could never win. He's shocked. "For me to be written off is just completely unfair!" I'm on your side, Pace. These chicks have nothing on you.

And now it's Miss Josephine Potter's turn. Jen and Dawson watch her from the wings, and Jen tries to tell him she misses him, but once Joey breaks into song, he's lost to the world, apparently. She's all awkward and gawky as she sings "On My Own" from Les Miserables either very sharp or very flat (hey, I'm a writer, not a singer). Can we talk about how obvious this song choice was? No, actually, even talking about how obvious this song choice was is too obvious. Anyway, Dawson's clearly feeling stirrings either in his chest or in his suit pants as he watches her perform, and Jen totally knows it.

As an aside, Joey reminds me of Kristen "Bitchface" Stewart a lot in this season, always looking awkward and put-upon and sighing and hunching over and rolling her eyes. It's making me a little uncomfortable.

Backstage, Pacey readies for his talent portion. It appears that he was going to do card tricks, because when Dawson bursts in, the cards go flying. Maybe he was going to challenge the judges to a rollicking game of Go Fish. Pacey is pissed that nobody actually believed he could win the competition, so he does a little improvisation-- a dramatic interpretation of that one scene from "Braveheart," adapted to be about Pacey Witter. He's got the blue facepaint down, but his Scottish accent weirdly verges on an Indian accent from time to time. Whatever, bold move, Pacey. I dig it.

Once again we're backstage, and this time Joey's eavesdropping on a couple of sequined bitches gossiping about her. She's a "total charity case," they say. "She lives in a trailer, with her sister who just had an illegitimate baby with her black boyfriend." Zing! Dawson sees her and hears what they're saying, and she tries to run off. He says they're only making fun of her because they think she's going to win, and they're jealous. Probably true, based on their interview question answers. Dawson tells Joey he's proud of her. Go get 'em, Tiger! She does, and answers her interview question with some decent subtext about not judging people and small minds and stuff.

Time to announce the winners! Miss Hannah Von Wenning is the second runner up, and very clearly not pleased. The first runner up, and winner of "a free day of beauty at Betty's Hair Barn" (oh joy!) is Miss Josephine Potter. Bummer, Jo, but we all knew it was coming. Frizzy Roberta Crump, who very obviously deserves it despite her less polished appearance, takes home the gold.

Joey stands pensively on the dock post-pageant. Dawson and his mom approach her, and Mrs. Leery congratulates her before peacing out. Dawson stares awkwardly at Joey who stares awkwardly at the dock. "For the first time in my life... you've left me speechless," he says. Translation: you look hot, so I think I like you now. Jen lurks in the background, watching as Dawson takes Joey's hand and leads her further down the dock. Dawson says a bunch of stuff about how pretty she looked onstage. "I've known you forever, but I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time." She looks sad at that-- "There's something that's just not right about this." He says he thought this was what she wanted. How dare she reject your advances, amiright D? Shades of late season 3 Dawson are evident here. Joey's response is pretty great, because I always love it when she kind of puts him in his place, so I'm just going to quote the whole thing here:

"I thought that this was what I wanted, for you to see me as beautiful. For you to look at me the way that you look at Jen. But the truth is, I don't want that at all, Dawson. I want you to look at me and see the person you've always known and realize what we have is so much more incredible that some passing attraction, because you know what, Dawson? It's just lipstick. It's just hairspray. Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up, and I'm going to be Joey. Just Joey. You know, the too-tall girl from the wrong side of the creek."

Then, after he says he needs time to think about these new feelings (that's puberty hitting you, D), she says, "Dawson! You've had a lifetime to process your feelings for me, and I can't spend the rest of mine hoping you might throw a general glance in my direction in between your tortured teen romances with whatever Jen Lindley enters your life next. I can't do it." This is awesome! Why can't she be strong and self-aware like this with Dawson all the time?

Pacey and Miss Hannah Von Wenning bond over being losers on the docks. She has successful siblings, you see, and his family basically hates him. Bummer.

Meanwhile at the Leerys', Dawson broods on the front porch. Jen approaches and tells him she still has feelings for him. Seriously, where is this coming from? I mean, aside from her obvious jealousy over the fact that he wants to bone Joey now. He looks taken aback at her offer. "Now's really not the best time," he answers.

Dear Jen,

Remember when you said you wanted to have girlfriends, because you thought it looked fun? Well, going after the dude your girlfriend likes the second he starts to show an interest in her is probably not the all-time number one way to go about it.

Your friend, Amy

We're back at Joey's now, and for some reason the Powers That Be decided we needed to hear Joey warble through "On My Own" again, so that's what's playing on the soundtrack as Joey brushes her hair at her vanity. She catches her own eye in the mirror, and pulls her hair back, clearly thinking, "Hey, maybe I can be pretty, after all!" Okay, fine, it's actually kind of a nice moment, and pretty realistic. I'll admit it-- Joey Potter had some pretty great moments in this episode. But we had to hear her sing not once but twice, so she's dead to me for now. Will she redeem herself to me in the finale by not singing any songs at all? Stay tuned.