Discovery

Episode four begins with Dawson and Joey in his room again. This time they're watching the video of Jen showing up in Capeside, exiting the cab in slow motion wearing her yellow sundress, which I don't remember them filming. Creepy. It becomes even more creepy when they change the tape and discover the sex tape from The Ruins-- they can only see Ms. Jacobs' face, though, and don't even ID her at first. "That woman looks familiar..." says Dawson. They figure it out eventually, the geniuses that they are, but the male lead remains a mystery. Well, the couple apparently did it up against a big tree, so I'd say whoever has gashes all over his back is the culprit.

Cue credits.

At the Icehouse, Dawson and Joey tell Jen and Pacey about the sex tape. Pacey is all squirrely, as would be expected. He asks to see the tape and Joey makes more masturbation euphemisms. Heh. This show is full of 'em. This time it was "flogging the bishop," in case you were curious.

Apparently Dawson and Jen are A Couple now. They hold hands on the way home and almost kiss, 'til she realizes Wild-Eyed Grams is watching them. She babbles on about anticipation, then kisses him anyway. Grams at the window is scandalized.

"Do you do these things to upset me, Jennifah?" asks an exasperated Grams in the kitchen. Then we're treated to implications of what Jen was like in New York. Too fast, too loose, whatever. I didn't care too much about Jen's plotlines at 12 and I don't at 24, either.

At the Leery residence, The Worst Cheater In The World acts all hot and cold towards Mitch. Meanwhile upstairs, Pacey tears apart Dawson's collection of unlabeled VHS tapes. "Stop, you're messing up my dailies!" whines Doucheson. He then removes the tape in question from a hollow book on his lame half-canoe bookcase and hands it over. Pacey acts nervous and then begrudgingly admits to Dawson that he's the guy on the tape. "No guy's first time should be captured on video," he says. Awkward. But true. And even more awkward to realize that Dawson WATCHED his best friend's first time. Geez. Then even MORE awkward when Pacey asks Dawson, "Did I look alright? Performance wise, did I cut it, man?" Yes, let's discuss THAT. Awkward City.

Joey and Dawson shop for an anniversary present for Ma and Pa Leery at a local candle/folk art/men's clothing store. They awkwardly run into Gail and her lovah, her co-anchor Bob. She's helping him pick out a sport coat. Joey glares knowingly but Dawson is gleefully oblivious as usual.

Judgy Grams judges Jen.

Ms. Jacobs drinks coffee at an outdoor cafe across the street from the video store where Pacey works. He runs over and tries to hold her hand, and she's all, "WTF dude, way to be discreet!"

Dawson shows Jen the cut of his monster movie. She lies to him and says she thinks it's good. (It has to be a lie, right? Because... it's not.) He foreshadows that he'll be at his mom's station to use their equipment the following day, so we know something's going to go down with Gail and her lovah. Dawson sits on the bed with Jen and then talks about how they're on a bed together, which is kind of ridiculous. They kiss and he tries to move into a more horizontal position, if you know what I mean (and I think you do), but she's having none of that.

Next day at the TV station, Jen is trying to dub over her terrible scream with more terrible screams. They take a break during which Dawson purchases a Diet Pepsi from the vending machine for Jen. Gross. Diet Pepsi tastes like bugspray. Then they see Gail and her lovah kissing in the hallway of the station. Does nobody at her place of employment know she's married? Isn't she worried that somebody might confront her about it, or worse, tell Mitch? Worst. Cheater. Ever.

Cue angry music. Dawson glares into space on a bench near the pier with Jen. Jen offers to talk, and he just pouts, then--

He's knocking on the door at Joey's. "I need to talk to you." Take that, Jen! Dawson rants to Joey about adultery and the seamy underbelly of Capeside. Then Dawson finds out that Joey knew about the affair, and freaks out. Incidentally, Joey is wearing an awkward stripey belly-shirt that stops about two inches above the waist of her mom jeans. I take umbrage to this. Anyway, Dawson gets all dramatic and says they aren't friends anymore. "Have a nice life!" he shouts as he stomps into the house. She looks sad but is probably secretly hoping she's rid of that tool for good. Maybe I'm projecting.

Ms. Jacobs is at the cafe across from the video store again, this time with Mr. Gold. Pacey is jealous.

Gail comes home in the super-short skirt suit she bought because she saw it on Ally McBeal and Dawson turns his steely glare to her. She's all, "la la la, what's wrong?" He flounces over to Jen's without confronting her. Grams answers the door with a sour look on her face. Dawson is apparently ready to talk to Jen now that his first choice pissed him off. He's all, "I hate secrets. Let's not tell secrets," and Jen's clearly thinking, "Oh shit, I have a lot of secrets." She breaks down and tells him all about her seedy past. His purity bubble is apparently burst by the idea that she's had sex before. He crosses his arms and glares.

Cue more angry music. Dawson's life is crashing down around him.

At school, Dawson blows off Jen. She's clearly realized that sharing secrets isn't always for the best.

Pacey confronts Ms. Jacobs about her running around with Mr. Gold, citing concern about STDs. "Do you like him or do you like me?" he whines. She beats around the bush for awhile and then drops the bomb that Mr. Gold likes dudes. "Don't worry, 15-year-old student of mine. I choose you."

Jen confronts Dawson about what a douche he's being. This is an episode for confrontation. And discovery, I suppose.

At the video store, Dawson complains to Pacey about the fact that Jen's not a virgin. Oh, the horror! Pacey's all, "Look dude. This is a good thing. This means she'll put out." Not necessarily true, but a good point. "It's not about sex, Pacey, it's about romance!" Shut up, Dawson. Pacey enlightens Dawson about how he's put Jen on a pedestal and that the Jen in his mind doesn't really exist and all that. Voice of reason. Dawson doesn't buy it.

At the Leery's, Mitch is getting ready for his anniversary date with Gail. Sucker. Dawson bounds into the room, excited to ruin Mitch's evening by telling him about what a soulless cheater his wife is, but Gail walks in and interrupts. Dawson sure does pout a lot. He decides not to tell Mitch yet, so Mitch remains woefully ignorant. Poor Mitch.

Jen shows up at the Icehouse afterhours to see Joey and talk to her about Dawson. Jen tells Joey about her transgressions and how she admitted them to Dawson, and Joey sits down to give her advice while probably secretly plotting to steal him away. They have a heart-to-heart about dear old Dawson.

Pacey lies in Ms. Jacobs' bed, reading Time Magazine. Are they like a real couple now? Like boyfriend and girlfriend? He asks how many dudes she's bedded. Awkward. Who really wants to know that stuff? She blabs about all the notches in her bedpost and he gets all sad because he thinks she didn't mention him, 'til she says "The one in high school? I didn't mean my high school," and he grins proudly.

Jen rants about her hard life to her granddad-in-a-coma. Hmm.

A Sarah McLachlan song about killing yourself plays as Dawson sits at The Ruins (aren't they done trespassing yet?) and angrily watches the water. Mega over-dramatic. Joey shows up, for some reason trying to apologize to him. She tells him not to screw things up with Jen and he's all, "Bitch, I'm ungrateful!"

"I'm mad at the world, Joey. I'm a teenager." Shut up, Doucheson. He tries to rebuff her and for some reason, she sticks to it instead of telling him he's an ass. Then they kind of make up. They joke around about their awkward relationship. This show is a lot more awkward than I thought when I was 12. They also talk about their relationships a hell of a lot more than people do in real life, especially at 15. But I guess it would be less fun if they acted like real 15-year-olds, because real 15-year-olds are super annoying.