The Scare

Okay, I want to preface this with the fact that in 7th grade, I found this episode to be really, really scary. In fact, I remember watching it at my friend Leigh Anne's house and hiding under blankets, and her 8-year-old brother was in the room with us and was so scared he cried. I think that's what happened. In any case, watch and read at your own risk, and make sure you have some blankets handy, because they will protect you.

Joey and Dawson are watching I Know What You Did Last Summer in his bedroom (oh yeah, he has stellar taste in movies). Joey spooks and he makes fun of her, then says that the movie rules. False, Dawson. They set up Dawson's love of scaring people, which we never saw prior to this episode or after, if I recall correctly, and the news show they put on when they stop the movie sets up the fact that a serial murderer called the Lady Killer is circling the area. It's because he kills ladies, see. It's clever.

Credits time. Credits party! Let's dance.

Pacey and Dawson walk the halls at school, and Pacey grills Dawson on what his big plans are for Friday the 13th. Apparently he always does something like dress up like Michael Myers. Or Mike Myers. It's unclear. He says he doesn't do that anymore because Jen dumped him and what's the point of going on? But then Pacey opens his locker and a glowing skull pops out to scare him. Hilarious!

Noel from Felicity has his sights set on Jen now that she's on the market again. He asks her on a date, and says she needs to date someone fun after Dawson. She defends him-- "he's probably the most original and imaginative date on the planet." Really? Where did you go on your dates, Jen? The movies? In any case, she agrees to go out with him. Behind all this, Joey discovers a rubber snake in her backpack: Dawson's handiwork. These pranks he's pulling, they're just so original and imaginative! I can't fathom this.

In the cafeteria, Pacey elucidates for the girls the MO of the Lady Killer. He steals their hearts, apparently. Literally. Pacey claims to have the inside information, through Deputy Doug, that the cops think Capeside will be his next target. Uh oh, ladies! Dawson come up and suggests a seance at his house to celebrate the creepy date. Jen says no because she's got a hot date, and Pacey almost eats a fake finger Dawson planted on his plate of fries. Ew. Jen is offended that she hasn't been scared yet.

In film class, Dawson sucks up. Or just answers a question correctly, but it seems like he's sucking up anyway. After class, Noel asks Dawson for Jen advice-- where to take her on their date? "You know Jen. What does she like?" This is an incredibly awkward situation, so piss off, Noel.

At her locker, Jen finds a card inside that says "You are going to DIE! Tonight!" She looks unsettled. Really? She figures that it was Dawson. Again, look what a clever and unpredictable prank he's pulled!

After school, she's in her house alone, when she gets a phone call. Kevin Williamson wrote Scream, so he probably just copy/pasted some of this stuff over. It's all "I can see you" kind of stuff, and Jen think it's Dawson at first but is easily convinced that it's not. She grabs a big knife from the kitchen and frantically looks around her house. "Whatever you do, Jennifer, don't look under the bed," the phone voice says, and while she's checking under her grandfather's bed, his hand falls down and scares her. "Where are you??" she keeps yelling. Grams comes home, groceries in hand, and startles Jen from behind, sending the big knife flailing. Unsafe. "Soon, Jennifer. Soon," says the phone voice one last time, before hanging up.

At Chez Leery, Joey is accusing Dawson of having more scares up his sleeve. No shit, he's been doing this stuff all night. They pile into Pacey's car to go to the store. Joey stays in the car because Pacey evidently hotwired it? That's weird. In the store, a woman and a man are having a big fight by the frozen goods. Pacey and Dawson naturally eavesdrop, and once the guy leaves, the woman approaches them. "Having a party?" she asks, because apparently that's what their empty shopping basket indicated. She steals a bottle of wine for them and goes to wait outside. Her teeth are wonky.

Meanwhile in the car, Joey is approached by a creepy dude. He asks her for directions and he's obviously the serial killer, because duh, he's a middle-aged white bespectacled man who's kind of serious and strange. He asks if she lives nearby, but Dawson and Pacey return and he leaves. Didn't we learn something from the Olaf debacle, Joey? Or the Warren one? Don't talk to strangers!

When the lady gives Pacey the wine, he says, "Cay-ber-net sah-vig-non, my favorite!" which amuses me. But then the angry dude she was fighting with comes back and attacks them all. This seems sensible, guys, let's get involved with the angry man and his crazy, klepto lady friend. Dawson and company have poor decision-making skills.

Grams sees Jen and Noel from Felicity off on their date. She is drooling over Noel-- she sees him every week at Capeside Wilderness Church of Jesus, she says, which impresses her. Then she goes inside, presumably to whittle something, and Noel tells Jen that they're going on their date to Dawson's. ARE YOU SERIOUS. Noel, you are a terrible next boyfriend.

The sensible kids brought the crazy lady home. This is going to end well. Jen accuses Dawson of calling her earlier, and he swears it wasn't him. She's freaked.

Crazy Lady is looking for something to open the wine with in the kitchen. "It's not cold, so we're going to have to add some ice," she says, before opening the freezer to discover a fake bloody head in the icemaker. They're going to put ice on red wine? Crazy people put ice in beverages that are not supposed to contain ice!

Dawson has one of those multicolored strobe lights set up on the seance table. So we can have a rave later! There are also fake skulls. Where did he get those? Maybe he's the Lady Killer. Speaking of the Lady Killer, Dawson tells everybody that he likes to stalk his victims, writing them notes and calling them. Jen got a call! She still thinks it was Dawson, though. Crazy Lady tells a story about a Crazy Lady who's Crazy. I seriously think these kids are crazy for inviting her back to the house. Then: the power goes out! I'm so shocked.

The electricity is out and the phones aren't working. They all disperse to lock doors, find flashlights, et cetera. Is it Dawson? Is it the Lady Killer? Is it Crazy Lady? "Your bizarre mother complex is going to get us all killed," says Joey to Pacey of Crazy Lady. True!

Jen and Noel are looking for flashlights, and find a mirror in the closet with "You're going to die tonight!" written in "blood." He suggests that the phone calls and everything are not, in fact, Dawson, but actually "a psychopath following you around trying to kill you." Way to reassure your new girl, Noel! Seriously, you're the worst rebound of all time.

Crazy Lady tells Dawson stories about her psycho boyfriend, how he's been in "the pen" and stuff. Then she calls Dawson out on being into Joey. He denies it, but she says he's dating the wrong girl. Ooh, foreshadowingish.

Dawson goes to look for Joey, and finds her in the closet-- she falls out, made up to look dead. Behind him comes a hooded figure with a knife and a mask-- he screams really weirdly before it's revealed to be Noel. He's unamused. It was Jen's idea, because she still thinks he called her and sent the notes. He denies it even more vehemently. "Then who did?" she demands. "The Lady Killer! I don't know!" he says. Seriously? These kids are bad at reassuring each other. Of course, instead of being fearful for her safety, she changes the subject. Why didn't he try to scare her? Does she mean nothing to him? Priorities, Lindley! Then they kiss a little bit. Then stop. This is weird.

The Psycho Dude is here! Yay! I guess he followed them after the store, and waited awhile to make himself known for plot purposes. Now he's known! He's breaking windows and stuff. He gets in and tries to choke Pacey (for stealing his woman) before Joey hits him over the head with a frying pan. He's not out yet though! Crazy Lady comes over to comfort him and they peace out. "These kids are weird!" she yells on her way out. Duh.

Noel from Felicity admits to Jen that he was the culprit behind the call and the notes. "Pretty cool, right?" She shoots him down, sends him packing. Maybe he shouldn't have taken her to her ex-boyfriend's house for their first date. He kisses her goodnight anyway, and Grams opens the door, interrupting, but is all "take your time!" and goes back inside. Oh, Grams.

It's pajama party time in Dawson's room! Joey is all insecure and fishing and asks if he'd be sad if she died for real. He says he'd be inconsolable. "What about me? Would you shed any tears if I died?" I mean, I know they're 15 and all confused about relationships, but come on. They're BFFs. Of course they'd be sad. Anyway, when Joey pulls down the covers she finds a bunch of little fake bugs, which she just shakes her head at but would make me rage. BUGS DO NOT BELONG IN BEDS. They turn on the TV and discover that the Lady Killer has been arrested! In Capeside! And it's the dude that it obviously was! Shock! Fear! Well, at least he didn't steal Joey's heart.